Let’s Stop Katy Perry

Update – Beach boys don’t want Katy covering California Girls. Smart move.

Katy Perry, you know why we can’t be friends, it’s because I don’t like you… But to offer my olive branch I will use this space to unmask the true deep meanings of your songs, feminist heavy classics like ‘one of the boys’ and the ecologically aware ‘hot and cold’. Katy takes offence to accusations from journalist hacks who call her music empty ‘I think thats an empty question!’ replied Katy and quite rightly too, why should she the artiste have to explain her method to and answer to criticism? No, stupid journalists! she IS ART she needs not answer questions about things! I’m here to fight the corner for philosophical, political Katy, she’s not just shiny bubble pop y’know, she has meaning, she has almost-rhyme, she has reasons – presumably, I mean there MUST be a reason for all this, right?

Damn Care-Bears always got a little handsy after a few shandies

Damn Care-Bears always got a little handsy after a few shandies

Coming soon – a bunch of hatemail from Katy Perry Fans straight into my mailbox.

Alright lets get into this!

Katy has come up for alot of derision from the media lately. A Katy who I am a fan of is Katy Brand I have particularly enjoyed her tribute to Perry. (I did try to link it to the YouTube video but its missing!) Online I found an article about ‘Why I hate Katy Perry’ on Spin magazine, then a stream of ‘you’re just jealous!’ retorts by Katy fans, I do hope I’ll get some action on this page!  Perhaps thats what it is, I’M JEALOUS OF ALL KATY’S TALENT, yes, it seems unfair the divine entities have chosen to bestow only one mortal with such gifts, but as we can all conclude from this experience – they do work in mysterious ways …

Lets look at the Lyrics time! I’ve taken the time to explain Katy’s lyrics and divulge how politically, environmentally, socially and anthropologically aware she really is, and that her songs aren’t purely soliloquies of frustration about doomed paramours, (or really silly boys who aren’t good enough for Katy because she’s a proper woman with her own signature style and everything)

Hot and Cold

You change your mind like a girl
changes clothes – clearly a commentary on our over-consumerist obsession with disposable fashion.
yeah you PMS

like a bitch  i would know – here we see Katy’s awareness of the emasculation of the modern male, a gender in crisis
and you always think
always speak critically i should know
that your not good for me – Katy has reached the realisation that she does not need to be criticized

cause your hot and you cold – This is in relation to the current state of global warming, Katy cares about the environment.
your yes then your no
your in then your out
your up and your down
your wrong when its right – We are an indecisive and selfish generation, unable to agree unilaterally on the Kyoto Protocol
its black and its white – Katy worries that all this will be irrelevant once we’re sucked into the black hole created by the Large Hadron Collider experiment
we fight we break up
we kiss we make up – and we’re back to the question of metrosexuality and the strain on gender roles within a hetrosexual relationship

you dont really want to stay( no )
but you dont really want to go ( oh )
hot and your cold
your yes then your no
your in then your out
your up and your down – chorus, re-ittertating the main points

we used to be just like twins
so in sync – The use of conformity as a social device to create trust and establish a ‘norm’ and a ‘devaint’
the same energy nows a dead

battery – this is just about Katy car
used to laugh bout nothing – the question of whether being in love lowers your intelligence to the level of a inane giggle merchant
now you’re plain boring
I should know that your not
gonna change – But you can – see here!

There are more lyrics but they’re mostly the same thing and I can’t be bothered. I hope this helps you to see Katy Perry in a new light.


3 responses to “Let’s Stop Katy Perry

  1. It tickeled me that you were sarcastic during this whole article and I am starting to dislike Katy Perry..congrats on recruiting me to your side of the table. Every lyric in my opinion, does have meaning…of course. But you brought a point to where these points aren’t usually filled with substance. At all. To me it was a song that is written everyday, but just with a girl that dresses differently in America’s pop culture (this should hint I live there hence other pop cultures are not in mind). But of course she’s not as invicible as Lady GaGa.
    But no one is…who could pretend to hang themselves in the VMA’s??? Not only myself but that damn girl right there…but I digress.
    You have valid points and I want to see more crass harm done to her lyrics. Yes I am a sick bastard.

  2. I agreed with you from the start, and I’m happy to have found what seems to be the only other person to dislike Katy Perry.

    But wait… it’s because we’re jealous. Of course.

  3. Leave Katy alone, it is not her fault she is a prostitute robot from the future, it’s just the way she was made.
    How much talent do you need to lay on your back with your legs in the air?

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